I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
