I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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