Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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