Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
