Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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