Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize