I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
