oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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