which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
