the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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