I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
