i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
