did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
