I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
