He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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