He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
