Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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