So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
