By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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