I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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