Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
