Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
