I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
