so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
