At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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