i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
