I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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