I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
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