U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
