Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
