Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
