i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
