Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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