White coat. Heels.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
