Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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