Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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