All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
