it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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