She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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