i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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