"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
