i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
