I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
