We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
