The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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