Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
