just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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