it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
