Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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