I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
