Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
