I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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