so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I smell like Dick and happiness
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
