did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
