I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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