Sry I called you an 8
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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