every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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