they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
