Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
