remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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