so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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