Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
