everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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